An Open Letter to Kevin Reilly
October 13, 2006
Kevin Reilly, President
NBC Entertainment
Dear Mr. Reilly,
Thank you for your announcement that Medium returns to NBC Wednesdays at 10pm beginning November 15th.
I think I speak for Medium fans everywhere when I say we are really, really sorry about the truckload of poo that ended up in your pool. But look on the bright side, you don’t have to buy fertilizer for your lawn and garden this year.
And the dead chickens hanging from your security gate? Ha ha! Yeah, that was a mistake, actually. The chickens were meant for Aaron Sorkin but the driver got confused and they ended up at your place instead. Sorkin got the liquified-then-frozen poo ice sculpture that was intended for your daughter’s wedding reception.
We kind of had a whole poo theme going, as you may have noticed when you walked into your guest house. Or perhaps you haven’t been out there lately. We are really quite proud of it. We had such a large amount of liquified poo left over after the ice sculpture, you see, and no idea what to do with it. It was a last minute inspiration. Those power sprayers are excellent with any kind of liquid.
Again, we are really, really sorry about all the trouble and so relieved you finally came around to our way of thinking. You have no idea how difficult it is to obtain that much poo.
Anyway, thanks again for bringing back Medium in November and not making us wait until January as you had originally planned.
Kind regards,
Sheila Livingston, CEO
Medium Mercenaries
Tags: kevin reilly, medium, medium nbc, season 3, humor
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POSTED IN: Fun With Medium, Medium News
6 opinions for An Open Letter to Kevin Reilly
J. Clerkin-Whitcomb
Oct 14, 2006 at 12:52 pm
Tsk, tsk… you forgot to tell him that you’ll have your people contact his people and you’ll “do” lunch… You have to follow the formula with these guys or they get confused.
Another faux pas? You forgot “Love your work! you’re a creative genius!”
I’m afraid the poor guy just isn’t going to know what to make of your letter. On the bright side, it’s good to know that those uncomfortable constipation issues are all behind you now.
Sheila
Oct 14, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Let’s hope his flunkies don’t get a hold of it, not realize it is a joke, and report me to Homeland Security!
J. Clerkin-Whitcomb
Oct 14, 2006 at 7:16 pm
Well, if “Homeland insecurity” comes a callin,
just hurl yourself some poop at them and THAT oughta take care of those pussy boys!
Sheila
Oct 15, 2006 at 10:12 am
Why am I suddenly picturing gorillas throwing their poop out of their zoo cage at the gawking tourists? I actually saw that happen at the St. Louis zoo when I was about seven. I have had an unnatural fear of gorillas ever since. Or maybe it’s poop. Hey! Maybe that’s where this post/letter came from! Ah, life comes full circle.
J. Clerkin-Whitcomb
Oct 15, 2006 at 11:04 am
How Funny! That actually happened to my friend Shawn at the Fresno Zoo, of all places! We were standing there looking at the great apes and for some reason Shawn was laughing at them…I saw that arm go back and instinctively took a couple steps aside - Shawn wasn’t so lucky and got a big poop smear across his shirt! It was a truly excellent experience! For me, anyway…. I think I laughed for like an hour.
kevin reilly
Oct 16, 2006 at 8:31 pm
Dear Sheila,
Thank you for your interest in Medium. We at NBC are very enthusiastic about the series and happy to bring it back for a third season earlier than planned.
I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that not only has the pool been thoroughly scrubbed, the guest house has also been meticulously cleaned and is as good as new.
The chicken was put to good use as we had Patricia and her husband to dinner, and it was enjoyed by all.
In closing, let me once again thank you for your interest in and support of Medium, and might I suggest that you attempt to follow a diet containing more fiber and less dairy.
Very best regards,
K. Reilly
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